幼儿心理教育的一项重要的诉求就是让孩子获得学会自主，也就是独立。虽然实际上宝宝是要依靠别人的，但是他们在不停的学习自己做事。
One of the most important psychological tasks of toddlerhood is achieving autonomy, that is, a sense of independence. An infant obviously is dependent on others for virtually everything. But a toddler is learning that he can do things for himself.
不幸的是，爸爸妈妈们并不觉得这是件艰巨的任务。且不说自己穿衣服，自己吃饭等等。在人之初这个特定的时期，这些事都需要克服很多困难才可以学会，而且，一旦父母很快就丧失信心和耐心，宝宝学习的进程将受阻甚至停滞。
Unfortunately, some mothers and fathers forget that this is not an easy task. Figuring out how to dress oneself, feed oneself, etc. typically involves a fair amount of struggle over a significant period of time. And if his parents are quick to be frustrated and upset, the toddler’s progress will be severely impaired or even stopped.
让我们来想象一家人正在吃早餐，宝宝决定自己倒牛奶。他不小心碰到了装牛奶的盒子，洒了一桌子。父母会是什么反应？他们尖叫起来：“看你都干了什么？！你看你弄的这一桌子！”
Think about it. At the breakfast table, the toddler decides he is going to pour his own milk. He knocks the carton over and spills milk all over the table. What do the parents do? They scream, “What are you doing! Look at the mess you made!”
当天晚上，有位客人来共进晚餐，这位客人想倒杯红酒。他不小心碰到了酒瓶，酒洒了一桌子。这对夫妇又会有怎样的而反应？他们会拖着客套的长音：“没关系，谁没失手的时候啊，来，再倒一杯。”
Later that evening, a guest a dinner goes to refill his wine glass. He knocks the bottle over and spills wine all over the table. What do the parents do? They gently intone, “That’s okay. Accidents happen. Let’s try again.”
所以，请对你的宝宝也有对待客人这样的耐心和热情。一点错都不出，把什么都弄的井井有条的，是不可能学会自理独立的。但只要父母以宽容的引导代替粗暴的批评，宝宝们就会取得很大的进步，终会成为一个独立并且心态健康的孩子。
So it is a good idea to strive to be as patient and compassionate with your toddler as you are with your guests. Achieving autonomy cannot be accomplished without many mistakes and an occasional mess being made. But as long as parents serve as understanding guides rather than harsh critics, they will eventually reap the reward of having a competently independent and psychologically healthy child.
以上文字摘录于悦宝园前首席顾问 Michael K. Meyerhoff博士的博客。
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