你是不是突然惊觉你的小宝贝女儿要求上公主课，或者小宝贝儿子要去上超级小英雄课？你是不是开始担心孩子会过早的形成性别刻板印象甚至是性别歧视？你的担心固然可以理解，但这却是宝宝成长的必然规律。
Are you a little dismayed that your preschool-aged daughter wants to take a Princess class or that your preschool-aged son wants to take a Superheroes class? Does this get you thinking about gender stereotypes and sexism? If so, that is perfectly understandable. But so is your child’s inclination.
在宝贝3岁之前，他们对性别的理解还很肤浅。他们会以你的外观，比如衣服和发型来界定男女。所以，在他们眼里你有可能忽男忽女……穿裙子的就是女孩，换了裤子，那就变男孩喽。长头发的是女孩，剪了短发又变男孩啦。但最终，当性别恒定性形成，他们将明白性别不会变来变去。
Up until about three years of age, children’s understanding of sex is rather superficial. They think you can go back and forth between male and female as a result of changes in things like clothing and hairstyle. Wear a skirt, you’re a girl. Change to pants, now you’re a boy. Have long hair, you’re a girl. Get it cut short, now you’re a boy. But eventually “gender constancy” kicks in. They realize you are one or the other and it isn’t going to change.
这也是性别图式理论的由来。一旦他们意识到他们是男的就是男的，是女的也不会突然又变成男的，那么男女的区别和他们性别的优势，就会被他们看得很重。所以，如果是个小男孩，并且意识到自己将永远是个男孩时，那男女的区别是很重要的，男孩子的东西就很酷！女孩的就不咋地。同样，如果是个小女孩，也会很看重男女之间的区别，女孩的东西就很棒啊，男孩的讨厌……所以，孩子们自己就会主动的追求和传承自己本族文化里，那些传统意义上的性别角色。
That leads to what is referred to as “gender schema theory.” Once they realize they are one or the other and it is permanent, it becomes important to them that there be a difference and that they be on the winning side. So if I’m a little boy and I realize I’ll always be a boy, it becomes important to me that there be a difference between boy stuff and girl stuff, and that boy stuff is cool and girl stuff isn’t. Similarly, if I’m a little girl, it becomes important to me that there be a difference between boy stuff and girl stuff, and that girl stuff is great and boy stuff is icky. Consequently, the children themselves are strongly inclined to pursue and perpetuate the traditional gender roles of their culture.
要想打破这种性别区分意识，很难，甚至是不可能的。所以我的建议是，顺其自然吧。如果你心存不甘，竭尽努力去改变传统的性别文化来的比较实际和有效吧。
It is very difficult and perhaps even impossible to defeat this powerful inclination. So my advice is to go ahead and indulge it. Let your kid be psychologically comfortable at this point in his or her life. And if that makes you a little uncomfortable, the more practical and ultimately more effective solution is to devote your efforts to altering your culture’s ideas about traditional gender roles.
以上文字摘录于悦宝园前首席顾问 Michael K. Meyerhoff博士的博客。
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