当你的宝宝被挫败感或失望之情折磨时，你会不会觉得自己是个不称职的父母？但其实，这是个关于情绪健康的命题，你反而不应介入太多。
When your child is frustrated or disappointed on occasion, does that make you feel like a failure as a parent? Well, you should know that whatever you have done or haven’t done is actually beneficial for his mental health.
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这里有个心理学家称之为“适应力水平”的概念。我们是高兴还是悲伤，取决于现在的经验和过去经验的对比。比如，一个学生考试得了B，他该高兴呢还是该难受呢？如果他是个一直得D和F的差等生，这是他第一次得了个有生以来的最高分B！那他乐翻了！！
相反的，如果他是个一直得A的学霸，这是他第一次得了这么低的一个分数B，那他就崩溃了！
There is something psychologists refer to as “adaptation level.” We ascertain our joy or misery by comparing current experience to past experience. Let’s say a student gets a B on an exam. Is he happy or sad? If he has always been a lousy student routinely getting D’s and F’s, and this is the first time he’s received anything as high as a B, he is ecstatic. On the other hand, if he has always been a straight A student, and this is the first time he’s received anything as low as a B, he is devastated.
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父母们容易犯的一个错误就是想尽自己所能让宝宝一直快乐着，满足他们的所有要求。但以后，当孩子们遇到生活中不可避免的低谷时，他们怎能有心理准备去应对？你就看看那些好莱坞的童星吧，想要什么就得什么，想做什么就做什么。但有多少人最终酗酒，吸毒，甚至年纪轻轻就自杀了。
Some mothers and fathers make the mistake of believing it is their job to make their little one deliriously happy all the time and give him everything he wants. Then later, when their child encounters life’s inevitable downturns, he is not emotionally prepared to deal with them. Just look at all those kids who are big stars in Hollywood and get everything they want and do whatever they want to do. How many times do you see them descending into alcoholism, drug abuse, and even suicide in adolescence and young adulthood?
我不是让你把孩子锁在地下室里，让他不会接触到外界的苦痛。但你要做的是让他建立适应力水平，也就是让他适时的去经历挫败和失望。
Now I’m not recommending that you lock your child in the basement so the rest of his life is wonderful in comparison. However, you do want to ensure that you are setting a realistic adaptation level for him, and that means allowing him to experience some frustration or disappointment when appropriate now and then.
以上文字摘录于悦宝园前首席顾问 Michael K. Meyerhoff博士的博客。
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